Emotions of Adoption
Will My Child Be Adopted and Loved?
Common Concerns from Birth Mothers About What it’s Like Being Adopted
You’ve probably heard it said that adoption is “giving up” a baby. This is one of the most common ways to talk about adoption. But, if you’re considering adoption for your baby, then you should know that this isn’t true.
Adoption isn’t “giving up.” It’s a brave choice. It’s a choice made by a parent because they love their baby, and they want what is best. You want to know that being adopted will be a good thing in your child’s life — that they will be happily adopted and proud of their story.
It may surprise you to hear that the adoption agency you choose can play a big role in whether or not being adopted is a good part of your child’s life. Here’s how.
What it Feels Like to Be Adopted
Most prospective birth mothers choose adoption while pregnant. With the way the process works, the baby is usually placed with the adoptive parents at the hospital shortly after birth. In the moment, the baby is not aware of being adopted.
This means that children develop feelings and ideas around adoption as they grow up, ask questions, hear their story and begin to form a sense of identity.
A lot of what it feels like to be adopted is determined by how openly the adoptive parents talk about this part of their story, and how early the family begins to reinforce positive ideas around adoption. Research has shown that early, open and uplifting conversation about adoption by the family is a big part of growing up adopted with a positive self-identity.
Hearing this, you may wonder what any of it has to do with the adoption agency. While a lot of what it feels like to be adopted will depend on the adoptive parents, the agency you choose for your adoption process will actually play a massive role in whether or not being adopted is a positive or negative experience for your baby.
The Agency and Being Adopted
One of the first choices a prospective birth mother makes in the adoption process is which agency to work with. Think of this choice like a first, big domino. It falls, and it starts a chain reaction. Nothing in the chain is unaffected by this first choice.
Some agencies screen prospective adoptive families better than others.
Every agency has its own requirements for adoption. Some agencies are more selective with their adoptive families. An agency with better requirements is more likely to only work with families who are truly prepared to adopt, which means a better chance of you child being adopted and loved in the way you hope.
While great families work with agencies of all sizes, it is worth considering how a national adoption agency could be better in this regard.
National agencies are much larger and work with many more families. They are rarely desperate for families to work with. Smaller agencies, while they can be amazing, may be under more pressure to complete more adoptions. Turning away a family who is just on the edge of meeting the requirements could be harder for an agency like this.
Some agencies provide better education than others.
There’s a lot to learn about adoption. Some agencies take providing adoption education to families seriously, while others do not.
An educated family will understand the importance of being open and honest about adoption when it comes to their child being adopted and loved. When an agency provides quality adoption education, they set the family up for success, which in turn creates a better situation for your child to be happily adopted.
Some agencies provide better post-placement support than others.
The adoption journey doesn’t end at placement. It lasts a lifetime. But, some agencies do see placement as the end of their work. This is not ideal for what it feels like to be adopted.
When thinking about your child being adopted, you want to know that there will be continual support. Some agencies provide this post-placement support, and that can go a long way toward what adopted children grow up to be.
Finding an Agency
Every prospective birth parent wants what is best for their baby. We know that if you are considering adoption, you love your baby. You want being adopted to be a good thing for them — something they can be proud of. You may be wondering, “If I give my child up for adoption, will he have a good life?”
There are, obviously, no promises. Just like everything else in life, we can’t control every outcome. But, by choosing the right agency, you can start things in the right direction.
When it comes to choosing the right agency, you’ll want to look for the things we talked about above. How do they screen parents? What kinds of adoption education do they provide? How much post-placement support do they offer birth parents and adoptive families?
Additionally, look for things like:
An agency with all of these things is a good bet that your child will grow up happily adopted. If you’d like to look into a few agencies right now, you can start with the list below:
We know how much your child growing up happily adopted matters to you. If you’d like to learn more about being adopted and how to start your own adoption process, contact one of the agencies listed above.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.