Your Support System

Keeping Your Adoption Plan Secret [Is it Possible?]


How to Create a Confidential Adoption Plan

If you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and have chosen adoption for your baby, you will ideally have a strong support system backing you every step of the way. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case.

There may be people who don’t respect your decision to choose adoption, or people that you don’t want involved in your adoption plan at all. Your adoption plan is yours and yours alone. You have the freedom to tell or not tell whomever you want about your adoption plan. If you want to keep your adoption a secret, you might be wondering about the possibility of anonymous or confidential adoption.

In this article, you will learn about what goes into keeping your adoption secret and confidential.

What is Confidential Adoption?

Every adoption carried out through an adoption agency or adoption professional is confidential in the way that any information you provide is protected and will be kept private.

To some birth parents, a confidential adoption means keeping the pregnancy or adoption plan secret from friends or family. To others, it means wanting your identity to remain anonymous throughout the adoption process.

You may be considering a confidential adoption for a variety of reasons.

  • You may have reason to believe you would be at risk of physical or verbal harassment.
  • Concern for you baby’s safety.
  • Wanting to avoid negative reactions or unsupportive behavior from family members or friends.

You might also feel you are able to cope with the emotions of the adoption process better if your identity is kept anonymous from the birth family and the child after adoption. Your adoption specialist can help you arrange a closed adoption in which there is no contact or exchange of personal information between you and the adoptive family.

You know what is best for you and your baby. No matter what your reason is for wanting a secret adoption, you are the only one who gets to make this decision, and your information will always be kept confidential.

How to Keep your Adoption a Secret

If you are certain you want to keep your adoption plan a secret, you will most likely want to consult your adoption professional so that they can help you construct a confidential adoption plan.

During these consultations, it’s important that you are honest with your adoption professional about why you want to keep your adoption a secret. Your adoption professional will never disclose your information without your permission.

Keeping the adoption a secret might be easier than keeping the pregnancy itself a secret. During your pregnancy, you may want to relocate or know the people and places you want to avoid to keep your pregnancy a secret.

If you are set on a confidential or closed adoption, there are some factors you should consider:

  • Hiding a pregnancy can be physically difficult and mentally draining.
  • It may be harder for you to access some of the services adoption professionals can offer you, such as adoption counseling or financial assistance.
  • If you are keeping the pregnancy and adoption a secret from the baby’s birth father, legal issues could arise. Talk to your adoption professional or an adoption attorney for more information.

Whatever a confidential adoption means to you, you are the one who gets to make the choices involved in your adoption plan. Your adoption professional can help you come up with the right confidential adoption plan that meets all your needs.

What to Consider Before Committing to a Confidential or Closed Adoption

Whatever your reason is for choosing a confidential or closed adoption, your decision is valid. Choosing a closed adoption means that you will not have any contact with your child after the adoption is finalized. This could take an emotional toll on both you and your child.

It is possible to have a confidential adoption while having an open or semi-open adoption. By working with an adoption professional, you can rest assured that your information will be kept private, while still getting to communicate with the adoptive family post placement and be kept informed on how your child is doing.

While it is perfectly understandable to want to keep your adoption plan a secret for a variety of reasons, don’t think the only way you can do this is by going through it alone. Having a solid support system by your side is important, whether that be one person or a select few. Consider confiding in at least one person about your pregnancy and adoption plan before beginning your confidential adoption.

Working with Anonymous Adoption Agencies

Much like the name suggests, anonymous adoption agencies provide confidential adoption services to prospective birth parents wanting to keep their pregnancy or adoption plan hidden from certain people.

While all adoption agencies will keep your information confidential, anonymous adoption agencies let you have a little more control over what information you want to share and what information you want to remain private.

While there are adoption agencies available to you that will assist in a confidential or secret adoption, it is rarer than it used to be. As the stigma surrounding adoption has faded over the years, open adoptions have surged in popularity. Many birth parents choose open or semi-open adoption over closed adoption for the following reasons:

  • The child won’t have to wonder who their birth parents are.
  • The adoptive family may be able to provide you with support.
  • You will have peace of mind being able to watch your child grow up and know they are safe and happy.

If you are interested in a confidential adoption or want to learn more about the options available to you, reach out to your adoption professional to figure out the best course of action for you and your baby.

Ready to start your own adoption plan? Fill out our form to get in touch with a helpful adoption professional today. They can provide free support and services you need to learn more and start the adoption process when you are ready, and all information you provide is always kept confidential.


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