Finding Adoptive Parents

What Happens if Nobody Adopts My Baby? [And Other Common Fears]


As a prospective birth mother, when you choose adoption for your baby, you are in complete control of the decisions made throughout the adoption process. One of most important decisions will be finding the adoptive family for your baby. Although there is a family out there for every child, potential birth mothers still have question like:

  • What if I don’t have an adoptive family picked when I give birth?
  • How many children go without getting adopted?
  • What if my child is older, can they still be adopted?

These are just some of the many different questions prospective birth mothers may ask in general, or for their specific situation. This guide will answer these questions about finding an adoptive family for your child and more. Adoption specialists are always available to answer any questions you may have, or you can continue reading to learn more about finding an adoptive family for your child.

What if I haven’t chosen an adoptive family by the time my child is born?

When a birth mother chooses adoption for her baby, she does so out of love and care for her child because she wants what is best for them. This mentality is the exact reason why there is such an emphasis around finding the perfect family for your baby.

As you work with an adoption agency to pursue a private infant adoption, you will have the opportunity to hand pick the adoptive family for your child. To begin this process, your adoption specialist will provide you with adoptive family profiles, based on the predetermined preferences you are looking for in the adoptive family.

From these adoptive profiles, you will find potential matches and begin to learn more about each family. Through emails, letters, video calls and even in-person meetings, you will begin to get a true sense of their character. Once you feel confident in a specific family, you will select them as the adoptive family and begin to work on a placement plan.

This is an example of the perfect case scenario. We understand that each adoption situation is unique and not all follow the perfect case scenario. Because of this, you may be asking yourself, “What if I don’t have an adoptive family picked when I give birth? What happens if nobody adopts my baby?” You are not alone in asking these questions, many other prospective birth mothers share the same concerns.

How much time you have to pick an adoptive family can be a big source of stress for prospective birth parents. Oftentimes, they feel they have to rush to make a decision before they give birth, which, although that may be ideal, does not have to be the case.

Because you want to be sure to find the best adoptive family for your child, the process may take a bit longer, sometimes even until after delivery of your baby, which is perfectly fine. This is where choosing the best adoptive agency helps keep your adoption on track towards a successful placement. Your adoption specialist will do everything in their power to find the right family for you and your baby, no matter how far along in your pregnancy you are.

Even if you are considering adoption after after your hospital stay, it is never too late to choose adoptive parents for your baby. Adoption does not have a requirement or time limit on when you have to decide on a family, so there is no need to add stress about selecting the perfect parents prior to giving birth. Your adoption professional will be able to shine more light on the process of finding an adoptive family if you are far along in your pregnancy or have already delivered.

Are Babies that are “Given Up” for Adoption Always Adopted?

In some situations, prospective birth mothers are concerned that their child will not be adopted because of special needs, medical issues, or anything else in their social or medical history. Some adoptions may take more time, or be a bit more complex, but we cannot stress enough that even in these circumstances, there is a family for every baby. This will hopefully help ease any concerns you may have about putting a child up for adoption but nobody adopting them.

The goal of your adoption specialist, and all adoption agencies, is to make sure every child placed for adoption finds a home with a loving and caring family. Sometimes adoptions fall through, requirements aren’t met and there are disruptions. This does not mean your child will no longer be adopted. When you work with an adoption agency, new adoptive family opportunities occur each day, and your professional will work to find the best one for your specific situation.

Even in situations where you may have an adoptive family picked out, such as a friend or family member, there can still be delays and disruptions. No matter the situation, whether your child has special needs, has been born for months, or you are just struggling to connect to the right adoptive family, there will always be an opportunity for you to find an adoptive family that meets your needs.

So, to answer the original question, are babies that are “given up” for adoption always adopted, the answer is yes. It may take time, but when you choose to work with an adoption agency for your baby’s adoption, you can rest easy knowing they will find the best possible family for your child.

Will my Baby End up in Foster Care?

Many prospective birth mothers ask the question, “If I give my baby up for adoption, do they go to foster care?”

The answer is no. By placing your child for adoption with an adoption agency, you are making the decision to place them with an adoptive family of your choice and avoiding the possibility of them ending up in foster care.  You are making this choice voluntarily. Oftentimes, foster care is not a choice, and is enforced by state officials for the well-being of the child.

When you give your adoption consent, you are doing so with the intention and understanding that you are placing your child in a loving and caring home that you specifically chose for them.

But what if you haven’t chosen an adoptive family? In this situation, you may be asking, “If I don’t have an adoptive family lined up, can my baby go to foster care?” Rest assured, the answer is still no. No matter if you have decided on an adoptive family, or are just starting the research process of finding one, when you choose adoption for your baby, they will not be placed in foster care. You will always have the option of choosing the perfect adoptive family for your child, but if you prefer not to select a family, your adoption professional can also choose adoptive parents on your behalf.

Finding an Adoptive Family

It is natural to have concerns or doubts when it comes to something this important. Finding the best adoptive family will not only change your child’s life, but yours as well. Your adoption specialist will help you throughout this process. It may seem like hard work, and making a decision will not always come easily, but in the end, it is worth all of the emotions and effort you put into it.

To get a head start on finding an adoptive family for your son or daughter, click here. You can also speak with an adoption professional and discuss your options, as well as any concerns you may have.


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