Your 3 Unplanned Pregnancy Options

Should I “Keep” My Baby? [How to Decide]

If you have found yourself at a crossroads because you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, the big question you may be asking yourself is: Should I keep my baby?

The answer to this question is dependent upon your unique situation and what you feel is best for you and your future. There is also no right or wrong answer. Whether you choose to keep your baby or not is your choice, regardless of what others in your life may think.

Should I Get an Abortion or Parent My Baby?

There is no one correct way to make this decision. This is a decision that should be made after careful consideration and research. Abortion is a perfectly valid choice when faced with an unplanned pregnancy that you are not ready for or simply do not want. Roughly 25% of women in the U.S. have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old.

Reasons you may be considering an abortion could be:

  • You might not feel like you are prepared to give the baby the best life possible.
  • There are goals you would like to achieve that would not be possible with a baby in your current situation.
  • Your unwanted pregnancy was the result of a sexual assault.
  • Potential health risks during pregnancy and childbirth.
  • You simply do not want a baby or to experience pregnancy and/or childbirth.

These are all valid reasons to consider an abortion. Though the stigma around abortion has lessened over the years, some people in your life may try to make you feel guilty for your decision to abort or even try to change your mind.

However discouraging this might be, it’s important to remember you always have the power to choose. Nobody can make this decision for you, and whatever you decide is valid.

What Should I Consider When Deciding to Abort or Keep My Baby?

There are many factors to look at when figuring out whether keeping your baby or an abortion is best for you. Think about what matters most to you in your life. What are your priorities right now? How will keeping your baby or having an abortion affect theses priorities?

Here are some factors to think about:

  • If you keep your baby, would you place them for adoption or raise them yourself?
  • How would raising a child at this point in your life affect your future?
  • Are you prepared to be a parent?
  • Would you be able to handle grief and feelings of loss that can come with an abortion?
  • Are you prepared to deal with judgement from others who might not support your decision to abort?

These are hard questions to consider, and this is a very personal decision to make. While it is your choice to make, you don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to those in your life who you feel will be understanding and supportive. You might even consider getting in touch with an unplanned pregnancy counselor who will offer unbiased guidance and information about the pros and cons of having an abortion or keeping your baby.

I’ve Decided to Keep My Baby; Do I Choose to Parent or Place Them for Adoption?

If you have decided to keep your baby, you now have the option of choosing to parent them or place them for adoption.

This is another difficult decision you will have to make. It cannot be stated enough that that this is your decision to make. It can be difficult, but it is important to not let outside pressure cloud your judgement. Only you know what is best for you and your baby.

If you don’t feel that you are ready to raise a child, or you just don’t want to raise a child, adoption might be the right choice for you. There are many hopeful adoptive families waiting for the opportunity to welcome a child into their home. You can speak with an adoption counselor to help you determine what the best choice is for you and your baby.

Changing the Way You Talk About Choosing to Parent or Place Your Baby for Adoption

When doing your own research, you might encounter negative adoption language, such as the phrases “keep your baby” and “give your baby up.” It’s important to keep in mind that placing your baby for adoption does not mean you are giving up, and neither “keeping” nor “giving up” your baby is inherently good or bad.

The decision to place your baby for adoption is a selfless choice made out of love. You want a better life for them than what you feel you could offer right now, and by choosing adoption, you are giving them the opportunity to be raised by a loving adoptive family.

In a similar vein, it is also encouraged to use phrases like “parent my baby” or “raise my baby” instead of “keep my baby.” Deciding to raise your child is more than just choosing to “keep” them. You are choosing to provide for them, love them, and support them in every way that you can.

Final Thoughts

If you’re unsure whether to keep the baby and place them for adoption or to choose to abort, you’re most likely dealing with a lot of complicated emotions. There is no one-size-fits-all way to make this decision. Take as much time as you need to evaluate your situation and do thorough research so that you can be sure you’re making the choice that’s best for you.  If you’re ready to talk to an adoption agency, get more free information here on the options and support available to you.

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