Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy

“I Don’t Want My Baby. What Should I Do Next?”

An unplanned pregnancy can take any woman by surprise. But perhaps, after letting the news sink in, you’ve found yourself saying the words, “I’m pregnant and I don’t want to be. Are these thoughts real?”

This can be a really difficult situation to be in. But we want you to remember that you’re not alone. In fact, when it comes to unplanned pregnancies, thoughts of not wanting your baby are actually more common than you might think.

But, before you make any lasting commitments, is important to assess whether these feelings of not wanting your baby are real, or if you’re just going through a difficult time. Below, learn more about the steps you should take if you’re struggling to cope when you’re pregnant and don’t want it.

I’m Pregnant but Don’t Want a Baby. What Should I Do First?

The first step when you find out you’re pregnant and don’t want to be is to sort through your feelings, either on your own time or with the help of a professional. When many women find out that they’re unexpectedly pregnant, their feelings can be some combination of fear, denial or disbelief. Finding out about an unplanned pregnancy can be a massive shock, and it can be difficult to process these emotions at first.

As you begin to accept the news of your unplanned pregnancy, it may be helpful to speak with a doctor, counselor, therapist or adoption professional to talk about your concerns. If you’re not sure who to contact, we’ve listed a few national adoption agencies you might consider reaching out to:

I Don’t Want to Be Pregnant. Are these Thoughts Real?

Before you can make your unplanned pregnancy decision, you should first determine if these thoughts are genuine or if they are because of an underlying medical reason. Antenatal and postpartum depression affect countless mothers every year, which could be the reason for why they’re pregnant but don’t want it.

To help determine if these feelings are genuine, or a temporary side effect of a treatable condition like depression, here are a few symptoms you should keep an eye out for:

  • Irritability
  • Mood swings
  • Inability to sleep
  • Frequent crying
  • Lack of energy
  • Poor concentration

If you experience any of these symptoms, please don’t hesitate to reach out to your doctor immediately. They can offer treatment options that may help alleviate your feelings when you’re pregnant and don’t want to be. And after receiving help, you might realize that parenting and becoming a mother really is the right option for you.

I don’t want my baby and I know that I don’t want to be a parent. What’s next?

If you’ve worked through your feelings, and you’re absolutely sure that you don’t want to raise your baby, you still have several options available. Namely, abortion or adoption.

Depending on how far along you are, abortion can still be one of your early unplanned pregnancy options. Many women know that this is the right option immediately after finding out that they’re pregnant and don’t want it, and that’s okay. If you are considering this option, we recommend that you contact your doctor as soon as you can. You should also look at the laws in your state to make sure that this is the right option for you.

Whether you’re 32 weeks pregnant and don’t want the baby, or if you’re just found out the news, it’s never too late to consider adoption, either. Many women realize that they don’t want to or aren’t ready to be mothers, and that’s perfectly okay. Adoption allows you pursue your dreams for the future, while giving your baby the gift of a safe, loving home. Choosing adoption doesn’t mean that you have to say goodbye, either, as you also have the option of continuing your relationship through an open or semi-open adoption.

Like every woman before you, it’s up to you to decide which is the right option when you’re pregnant and don’t want the baby. No one can tell you what is right for you. Only you can. But if you’d like to speak with a professional about your other options, they would be more than happy to go over everything with you.

What Happens When You’re Married, Pregnant and Don’t Want the Baby?

This situation happens more often than you might think. But even when you’re married, you still have the same rights as any woman facing an unplanned pregnancy. If the birth father is supportive of your pregnancy, which we always hope that he will be, he can be a great source of comfort during this stressful time. The two of you can talk over your options if you’re unsure of what to do next, and  you can determine together which option is right for you. Even if you are married, don’t forget that you can still choose adoption if you feel like it’s the best option for you.

What if I Don’t Want My Child Anymore?

If you’ve already had your child, and you’re having thoughts of not wanting to be a parent anymore, we want to reassure you that you’re not alone. Help is always available. For guidance on what to do next, we encourage you to reach out to an adoption professional near you to go over all of your options.

If you’re thinking that you don’t want your baby, and you’d like to learn more about what your options are, then we’d love for you to speak with an adoption professional today. To get connected with an adoption agency, please fill out our free information form.

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