Open Adoption with Your Child

Will I See My Baby Again After “Giving Them Up” for Adoption?

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As a prospective birth mother considering adoption, there will be a number of questions you’ll want answers to. Many of them are emotional and difficult to ask. One of the more common is what happens when the adoption is completed? Birth mothers wonder, “Will I see my baby again after an adoption?”

The answer is yes — if you want to see your child again, you can absolutely choose this type of arrangement. The contact between birth parents, adoptive family and the child come down to the type of adoption chosen by the birth mother. An open adoption allows for an open relationship after the adoption is finalized, giving the birth mother and child a chance at a shared and meaningful relationship. .

4 Common Questions About Seeing Your Child After Adoption

Despite knowing the choice of adoption for your child is the right decision for not only you but also the growth and development of your child, there are fears of not seeing your child after placing them for adoption.

These are some common questions birth mothers ask themselves:

“Will I see my baby after I place them for adoption?”

Yes. Once you “give your child up” for adoption, you can still see her or him through an open adoption. With this type of adoption, you can choose to have ongoing phone calls, text and email conversations and, yes, in-person visits with the adoptive family and your child.

“If you give your child up for adoption, can you still have contact with them?”

Absolutely. Gone are the days when birth parents would place a child for adoption, never to see or hear from them again. Today, you can “give your bay up” for adoption and still keep in contact with them in whatever ways you’re most comfortable.

“Can you put your baby up for adoption with visitation?”

Thanks to open adoption, putting a child up for adoption when you can still visit is always an option. You will just need to let your adoption professional and the adoptive family know your wishes for post-adoption visits.

However, if you’re asking, “Can you give your baby up for adoption but still have visitation rights?” it’s important to know that, in most cases, visitation cannot be legally enforced. Fortunately, this is usually not an issue, because most adoptive families and adoption professionals will want you to have that relationship and will follow through on their promises for visits.

“If I give my baby up for adoption, can I see her at the hospital?”

Of course. Some women worry that when you “give your babies up” for adoption, you are not allowed to see them in the hospital, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. As a woman considering adoption, you are completely in charge of your hospital plan, and that includes whether you want to see your baby after they are born. Many prospective birth mothers choose to spend time with their baby in the hospital prior to placement.

In many cases, prospective birth mothers assume that once their baby has been placed with a family, the connection is severed and they’ll no longer be able to keep up with their child. But in today’s adoptions, this isn’t the case at all. Having contact with your child after adoption is important to not only the birth mother’s ability to cope with the adoption, but also to maintain a connection to how her child is doing.

Open and semi-open adoptions keep the birth mother connected to the adoptive parents and child through different means of communication. Which of the two types of adoption a birth mother chooses is based on several factors, including the amount of contact desired with the adoptive family and what type of communication is needed? More importantly, both offer the ability to stay in touch with your child after an adoption as little or as much as you and the adoptive parents agree is suitable.

Creating a Meaningful Relationship with Your Child

This comes down to what type of adoption you wish to have. An open adoption is the most common type of adoption. Over time, the stigma of placing a child for adoption and the need for secrecy surrounding such a decision has dissipated. Instead of a woman feeling embarrassed or ashamed for wanting to place her child for adoption, it’s become viewed as a loving and caring decision in which a birth mother wants the very best for her child.

There are hundreds of families wanting to adopt a child for various reasons, and they want to do so with an open form of communication with the birth mother. Studies have shown that open adoption is better for the child and the birth mother. The benefit of having an open adoption is that the birth mother can build a relationship with the adoptive parents and child by having open lines of communication during the adoption process, but more specifically after the adoption.

The level of contact and type of contact is an agreed-upon arrangement between the birth parents and the adoptive family. In an open adoption, the two sides verbally agree to maintain a relationship and do so without mediation from an adoption specialist. As in any relationship, the communication can change over the course of time. The purpose of an open adoption is to make sure the child knows where he or she came from, avoids struggling with potential identity issues, and has access to medical and health records, and to help the birth mother keeps an open connection with her child.

Choosing the Amount of Contact You Want with Your Child

If you’re asking yourself, “If you give your baby up for adoption, do you get to see it again?” but you aren’t sure how much contact you wish to have with the child and the adoptive couple, there is an option for a semi-open adoption, which allows for open contact and communication while maintaining more privacy in the relationship.

Whether you need the space for your own coping and mental health and recovery, or you simply wish to create some space between you and the child but want to be able to keep tabs on his or her growth and development, a semi-open adoption might be the right decision for you. The contact in this arrangement would be mediated by an adoption professional in order to help both the birth mother and adoptive family maintain the right level of communication.

What Type of Communication Do You Prefer?

This is a good initial question to consider when it comes to seeing your baby after an adoption. With an open adoption, yes, you absolutely have the ability to see your child, but how much? How much communication is healthy for you? In today’s world, there are seemingly endless forms of communication. In adoption, some of the more popular ways birth parents and adoptive families keep up with each other include:

  • Phone calls
  • Texting
  • Video chat
  • Email
  • Photo sharing
  • Social media
  • In-person visits
  • Letters/cards and pictures sent through regular mail
  • And more

Knowing that you can see your baby after an adoption should give you peace of mind as you move through your adoption. When selecting a family, think about the level of contact you think is appropriate. An adoption professional will help you find the perfect adoptive family that wants the same level of contact with you.

Ready to get started? If you want to learn more about open adoption, or if you want to start your own open adoption process today, get the free information and services you need by filling out our form. An adoption professional will reach out to you to help you get started whenever you are ready.

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