Your Support System
Are You Being Pressured into Adoption or Parenting?
How to Avoid Being Pressured into a Decision [and How to Decide for Yourself]
Placing your baby for adoption after being faced with an unplanned pregnancy is a life-changing choice, and one that should only be made by you alone. It is your pregnancy; you get to decide how you handle it.
Family, friends, and even the baby’s birth father have no grounds to force you into adoption or parenting. No matter what anyone in your life thinks, this is your choice to make, and nobody should make it for you. This article will serve as a guide to advise you on how to avoid being pressured into adoption, abortion or parenting.
How to Handle Outside Pressure
When dealing with a decision as important as what to do with an unplanned pregnancy, you are going to want to confide in your loved ones for emotional support. Try to remain vigilant if a family member expresses support for your decision but follows up by trying to pressure you into adoption, abortion or parenting if you don’t think is right for you and your baby.
Sometimes they may not be intentionally trying to sway your decision and believe they are acting in your best interests. Even so, this is your pregnancy, and your choice to make. Whatever you decide is completely valid, regardless of what your loved ones might say.
If you feel someone is trying to pressure you into adoption or parenting, gently let them know that while you appreciate their input and concern, you are in need of support, not opinions. If for whatever reason, you are under the impression that your emotional or physical wellbeing will be in danger if you don’t comply with their wishes, reach out to your adoption counselor or a licensed adoption attorney.
You may find yourself dealing with a situation where they withdraw resources they once provided you like housing, financial assistance, etc. Don’t let this sway you toward making a decision you don’t want to make. Most adoption agencies offer these services and more.
If I Want to Choose Adoption, Can I Be Forced to Keep My Baby?
This is an unfortunately common question asked by expectant birth parents faced with an unplanned pregnancy. Can my parents force me to keep my baby? The answer to this question is always no. Nobody can make that decision for you. Even as a minor, your parents cannot legally prevent you from choosing adoption.
Your family may be discouraging you from placing your baby for adoption for a variety of reasons:
- They want to help you raise the child.
- They were raised with a set of values that are centered around family and adoption to them feels like the “easy way out” even if that couldn’t be further from the truth.
- They are worried you will regret your decision.
Whatever their reason is for pressuring you to parent your child, it is not their place to decide that for you, and you will always have the power to choose. Only you know what is best for you and your baby. If you feel like you cannot provide the life for your child that they deserve, or you simply do not want to be a parent, you have the freedom to choose adoption.
Adoption is a brave and selfless choice to give your child the best life possible. Depending on the openness of your adoption, you might even be able to maintain some degree of contact with your child. Your choice is valid, and there are adoption professionals who can provide you with support and help you create an adoption plan.
If I Want to Keep My Baby, Can I Be Forced to Put Them Up for Adoption?
If you feel you’re ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood, but your family is trying to convince you otherwise, you might be asking yourself: Can I be forced to give my baby up for adoption?
Just as nobody can force you to keep your baby, nobody can force you to “give them up” for adoption. This is your child and you know what is best for them. If you feel like you are equipped to provide for a child and are willing to make the necessary sacrifices that come with parenting, you get to make that decision.
By deciding to parent, you will get to raise and nurture your child, and watch them grow. Parenthood is your journey to take it you want to and feel you are ready. Your family is not permitted to stand in your way.
Your Rights as a Prospective Birth Parent
As the prospective birth parent, you are the most important person in the adoption process. Without you, there would be no adoption. You get to decide if adoption is right for you, choose the adoptive family, whether you want an open or semi-open adoption, and more.
Since this is about your choice and what you want, nobody should ever make you feel like you have no autonomy during the process by pressuring you into adoption, abortion or parenting. Keep in mind you have the right to change your mind as well. Nothing is set in stone until you legally consent to the adoption and the revocation period has expired after your baby’s birth.
Making Your Decision
When the people you have gone to for support through this difficult time try to pressure you into making a decision you don’t want to make, it can create a lot of internal conflict. Here are some steps you can take to make sure you are fully informed when making your decision, so that you can make the choice that you feel is right for you and your baby.
- Do your research. Make sure you are aware of all the options available to you when deciding how to handle your unplanned pregnancy. Make sure you have an understanding of what goes into adoption, parenting, and abortion and how each choice could affect you and your baby.
- Consider your current situation. Think about where you’re at in life and what you want for your future. Which one of your options is going to help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself?
- Reach out. If someone you went to for support is trying to sway you, don’t let that influence you to shut everyone else out. If you aren’t getting the emotional support you need from friends or family, don’t hesitate to reach out to an adoption counselor.
- Consult an adoption professional. To make the most informed decision about whether you want to pursue adoption or not, consider reaching out to adoption professionals to learn more about the types of adoption available to you.
An unplanned pregnancy already comes with a lot of complex emotions without others pressuring you into adoption or parenting when you know it isn’t what you want or what is best for you and your baby. If you feel like you are being pressured into making a decision that is not your own, reach out to an adoption professional that will help you explore your options.
Ready to get started? Contact an adoption agency now to get free information.